I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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