there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize