I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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