i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
