I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
