she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
