She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
