i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
