I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
