I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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