those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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