I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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