I think I am morally bankrupt
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
