I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
