I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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