One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
