and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
