He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
