so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
