i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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