If that was your dad, he is hot
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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