he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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