Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
