I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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