I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I touched a dick in church today
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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