i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
