I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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