When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
