guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
