My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
