Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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