The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
