umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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