I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
