He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
