I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
