I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
