I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
