so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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