Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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