does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize