Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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