How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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