when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
