found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just puked most of my soul out..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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