Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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