At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
