ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
