You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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