Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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