he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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